homesick #1

i don't know what to do
i don't know where to go

i don't even know why

they called it apartment

where aisle is the only space

that parted the congested rooms.

i keep thinking that i can do this

and it just keep on slipping out of my head.

now, the more i hope for it the worst it feels.

at first, i thought 3 years is not enough

and that i can even reach 10 long years

and now, it seems that 3 days of no work

is an infinite road of loneliness and boredom.

but then i thought. . . . i have this greatest CONFIDANT here.

i have this pen, these clean sheets and im in solitariness with HIM.

i may feel that im alone but for sure i will never be lonely again coz HE cheers me.

first crossroad

"then i have to find my luck here, sir" usually is the line that i say when relocation or assignment of job is on the other place or outside cebu.

the craving of getting a job pushes me to this edge of a barely 2 day decision. now i am in one of many crossroads in my life, that i have to decide...

overnight, i tried to decant everything what i really want but it seems that half of me is still undecided or maybe decided but not sure, it seems there is still a little commotion inside this little head, commotion of wants and didn't wants, commotion of what will i have there and what i have here. i thought, here? i already have a life though it is not so fulfilling because of the absence of job, yes lack of it means a little bit lacking of freedom also. freedom is one but thats for me only, at most that is what i feel.

darn!darn!darn!darn!darn!

now, the other half is willing to go, willing to experience everything especially being totally independent in facing each and every obstacles and most of all willing to take the risk... my verdict?

i will go!

i will go!

i will go!

i will go!

i will go!