the letter

yesterday, a friend asked for a little favor. he wanted me to make another letter similar to the one that i made way back in high school. i asked him if i really made him a letter before and he just smile and handed me a folded yellow paper. when i unfold it i recognize my handwriting and couldn't believe that i really made a love letter when i was in high school.... i tried to remember the drifted thoughts over the years and ask my friend if i could borrow it for days.

dear Beauty,

This missive of mine comes from the innermost chamber of my heart. I am sorry if I dare to court but I could no longer control this erratic beating of my heart. Not a day passes by without me thinking of you. I have been restless since the day we have known each other. Your memory constantly hunts me. I am ready to bear your anger but I could no longer bear the loneliness in the thoughts of losing you. The redemption of this poor lost love is at your mercy. I love you not only of what you are but what I am when I'm with you. I love you not only of what you have made of yourself but for what you are making of me. Can you cause the utter unhappiness of a person by refusing his undying love. Do I have to suffer because I love you. Don't we have much dream and share together. If I don't have your love I consider myself as a losser forever. That would be the finest day of my life in the time you'll utter the sweetest words I longed to hear. My world gets smaller and smaller as I wait for your favorable reply.

love,

mÖnster

i admit, i am guilty of plagiarism in writing this letter. i could still remember that the beginning and last sentence of this letter was taken from a weekend issue of a newspaper. but i can't believe that there is a romantic part in my soul before... then i remember about my part on this letter and that it was some kind of a failure in my case because it never reached its destination... but in my friend's situation it won the lady's heart and they survived for more than a year..

i tried to make another letter but i just can't gather my thoughts.

sober up!

i used to post something here when i got a shot of a few drinks may it be a beer or a strong liquor. but now i would like to do it more often when i am sober. now, im thinkin` that maybe the reason why until now i didn't understand what really is with me, is that i cease to think and comprehend it when i am sober and contemplation comes only when i am intoxicated... the real me might be bad or good and i don't want to get excite on it either because what will i discover in me might be the kind of person that i will despised most.... thing that i feared most is when i loss the will to live my life the way i do now... that is to share all the happiness in this world with my family and friends.

does this mean that i'll stay here often than before??? i hope so. *smilin`*

i try to spare more of my time here and for sure what you'll read next to this is

95% free of alcohol.